Narrator: As "A Night at the
Palace" opens, the King, after a six month
binge with his buddies returns home
to his Queen, who is less than
appreciative of his partying spirit.
Her frustration is evident. And
all is less than well.
Vashti: I want a new dress.
K: Why do you need a new
dress? I never take you anywhere.
V: That's just it.
I'm tired of being cooped up in this
palace
while you go out drinking with the
boys.
I want excitement, I want to dance,
I want to ha-cha-cha!
You don't realize it but from the
time you got the marriage license
I've led a dog's life.
K: Maybe that's 'cause I got
a dog license.
You know, I have more important
things than you to think about.
V: Say that again and I'll
scratch your eyes out!
K: I wish you'd keep my hands
to yourself.
K: How much would you want to
run into an open manhole?
V: Just the cover charge.
K: Well, drop in sometime.
V: Sewer.
K: Well, we cleaned that up.
V: You know I'm fed up with
all this.
K: I know, I know. You're a
woman who's been getting nothing but dirty
breaks. Well we can clean and
tighten your brakes, but you'll have to
stay in the garage all night.
Vashti: I've had a perfectly
wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
King (aside to Guard): She
got her good looks from her father. He's a
plastic surgeon.
Vashti: I was married by a
judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Guard to King: I'd like to
say goodbye to your wife.
King: "Who wouldn't?"
Vashti: Harrummphh! (Exits)
King to Guard: Do you know
who sneaked into my chambers this morning?
Guard: Why no one your
Majesty.
King: No one is right.
That's the problem.
I know a guy who started last year
with just a canoe
Now he's got more women than you can
shake a stick at
If that's your idea of a good time.
Guard: Your majesty, we
thought this might happen. So we sent out a
scouting mission to the ends of the
empire looking for a suitable queen
for you.
K: Really? You have
pictures?
G: We took some pictures of
the native girls but they weren't
developed.
But we're going back again in a
couple of weeks.
K: Say, I'm the jokester
around here.
G: (aside) He certainly is.
K: I haven't got time to wait
for that. I need a new Queen now.
Guard: We knew that too Your
Majesty. "Bring in the contestants!"
Guard: How do you feel about
women's rights?
King: I like either side of
them.
