Narrator:
As "A Night at the Palace" opens, the King, after
a six month binge with his buddies
returns home to his Queen, who is less than
appreciative of his partying spirit. Her frustration
is evident. And
all is less
than well.
Vashti:
I want a new dress.
K:
Why do you need a new dress? I never take you anywhere.
V:
That's just it.
I'm tired
of being cooped up in this palace
while you
go out drinking with the boys.
I want excitement,
I want to dance,
I want to
ha-cha-cha!
You don't
realize it but from the time you got the marriage license
I've led a
dog's life.
K:
Maybe that's 'cause I got a dog license.
You know,
I have more important things than you to think about.
V:
Say that again and I'll scratch your eyes out!
K:
I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.
K:
How much would you want to run into an open manhole?
V:
Just the cover charge.
K:
Well, drop in sometime.
V:
Sewer.
K:
Well, we cleaned that up.
V:
You know I'm fed up with all this.
K:
I know, I know. You're a woman who's been getting nothing
but dirty breaks. Well we
can clean and tighten your brakes, but you'll have to
stay in the garage all night.
Vashti:
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
King (aside
to Guard): She got her good looks from her father.
He's a plastic surgeon.
Vashti:
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Guard to
King: I'd like to say goodbye to your wife.
King:
"Who wouldn't?"
Vashti:
Harrummphh! (Exits)
King to
Guard: Do you know who sneaked into my chambers
this morning?
Guard:
Why no one your Majesty.
King:
No one is right. That's the problem.
I know a guy
who started last year with just a canoe
Now he's got
more women than you can shake a stick at
If that's
your idea of a good time.
Guard:
Your majesty, we thought this might happen. So we sent
out a scouting mission to the ends
of the empire looking for a suitable queen
for you.
K:
Really? You have pictures?
G:
We took some pictures of the native girls but they weren't
developed.
But we're going back again in a couple of weeks.
K:
Say, I'm the jokester around here.
G:
(aside) He certainly is.
K:
I haven't got time to wait for that. I need a new Queen
now.
Guard:
We knew that too Your Majesty. "Bring in the contestants!"
Guard:
How do you feel about women's rights?
King:
I like either side of them.
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