Beach Boychicks...Beach Boys Purim

Written by Cantor Jan Sheer,Aley Sheer and Cantor Stephanie Shore
Rhonda: :(To Esther) And just who do you think you are – and what are you doing here?
Esther: Why, I’m Esther! I just got back from college.
Barbara Ann: Omigosh, Rhonda… Didn’t you listen to that dialogue before the first song?
Rhonda: Oh good heavens, Barbara Ann. Yes, I know that much. But why are you here, Esther – outside the castle?
Esther: Good timing?
Wilson: Are you here for the contest, darling?
Mordechai: What contest?
Barbara Ann: The king’s dance contest, silly… to find a new queen!
Wilson: Yes… Queen Vashti is washed up… in fact, you might say she wiped out. She refused to dance for him!
Rhonda: And so Ahashverosh is having a dance contest to find a new queen – and he sent us out from the castle spa to round up all the eligible beach bunnies in Shushan.
Esther: Oh wow… That’s far out. Well, I’m eligible! And I’m well qualified. I love to dance – and I just got my degree.
Barbara Ann: I wish I was smart enough to get a degree. What’s it in?
Esther: Environmental husbandry! I want to save the planet…
Rhonda: (Aside to audience) And I guess she wants to find a husband, too!
Wilson: You’re perfect! Come with us. We’ll take you into the castle for an interview. You’ll arrive in style, too… We’ve got the little deuce coupe parked right out back!
Mordechai: This could be the big opportunity you’ve been waiting for, Esther! You could really keep things green if you’re the queen!
Esther: I’m psyched! And did I mention that I want to save the planet?
They exit
Barbara Ann, Rhonda and Wilson return to stage. Vashti enters – sunburned.
Vashti: That man is IMPOSSIBLE! I can’t BELIEVE this!
Wilson: Now, now, Vashti… what is wrong?
Vashti: He banished me, Wilson! BANISHED me! He wanted me to dance for these bums he dragged in from the beach… just like always. But I told him there was no way I could dance today. I mean, LOOK at me!
Barbara Ann: Ummm, guys, I’m really confused.
Rhonda: (Insultingly) Well, that’s different!
Barbara Ann: No… I mean, we already told Esther that Vashti was banished. And we invited her to the dance contest in Scene 1! So how come we’re doing this scene now? Come on… Help me, Rhonda!
Rhonda: I’m going to ignore that…
Wilson: Oh, you poor dear… didn’t you read the script? This is a flashback.
Barbara Ann Ohhhhhhhhhh!
Vashti: (Annoyed) Helloooo… Isn’t this scene supposed to be all about moi? I am crisper than a French fry over here. I need some aloe vera!
Barbara Ann: No, no… I’m Barbara Ann. Vera isn’t here right now.
Vashti: I’m melting…!
Lifeguard: You should have worn sunscreen.
Vashti: I didn't think I was out so long. The King is unreasonable. My sunburn will fade in just a few days. He just has to have his way ALL the time.
Lifeguard: Well the sun had its way with you and you know what they say about the Ultra-violets!
Vashti: So, what am I going to do now?
Lifeguard: Well, I am afraid the King has spoken, Vashti, there are some “bad vibrations” around here, “surfer girl.”
Vashti: He's gonna miss me!