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| Scene 1 |
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| Narrator #1 (Statler – old man heckler): TThis year’s Purim Shpiel takes place in Hollywood, at the Muppet Theater, where we find the characters of The Muppets. King Ahashveros is Fozzie Bear. Vashti is Janice from the Muppet band The Electric Mayhem. Mordechai is Kermit the Frog.
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| Narrator #2 (Waldorf –old man heckler): Esther is Miss Piggy. Haman is Gonzo. |
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| Narrator#1: King Fozzie Ahashveros is hosting a grand party. All the guests are dancing the hora and having a wonderful time. Why are we up here then if they are having a party? |
Narrator #2: Guess we weren’t invited. What else is new? Let's see what’s going on at the celebration.
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| Guard #1 (Animal): ATTENTION, ATTENTION! |
Guard #2 (Dr. Teeth) The King Fozzie Bear has an important announcement to mak
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Guard #3 (Floyd Pepper): Please lend us your ears.
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King: Soon my queen shall arrive and dance for all of my guests. Wocka wocka wocka!! (clap, clap) Guards, send orders to the Queen that we await her presence. Get it, presents?? Wocka wocka! (Guards exit and go to the queen)
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Guard #1: QUEEN, KING WANT YOU COME DANCE NOW!
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| Queen: Like, for sure, man, I totally will not appear at his party, I for sure like totally will not boogie for his guests. Tell him no! For sure, man... |
Guard #2: But your highness, you must obey the King's wishes.
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| Guard #3 But Queen, the consequences. |
| Queen: Like, for sure, you have my answer, tell the King NO!
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| (Guards go to the King .)
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| Guard #2: King, the Queen has told us she will not dance for you. |
| Guard #3: Yes sire, she has refused to appear. |
| King: What? I am outraged! How dare she refuse my request? She will be dethroned for this act of disrespect. Animal, bring me the Queen! |
| (Guards exit and bring the Queen to see the King.) |
| Animal: Queen!! QUEEN!!!!!!! Here Queen, here queen!
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| King: Send her in.
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Queen: Yes, your, like, majesty, you totally wanted to see me?
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King: You have embarrassed me in front of my guests, and that’s pretty hard to do.. wocka wocka... anyway, for this you will be banished from this town forever.
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