Oyklahoma Purim

Written by
Sylvie: Did ya hear what's goin' on over yonder at the palace?
Gerti Cummings: No, what's happnin'?
Sylvie: Well, the Curly is hostin' a great big ice cream sociable fer all the townfolk, and he's wantin' Ado Annie to come on over and show off how purty she is and dance up a storm fer 'im - but she ain't havin' nothin' ta do with it!
Gerti Cummings: Nothin' a-tall? Wow... the king must be madder'n a ole wet hen.
Sylvie: He shore is! Seems like he had his heart set on havin' this big hoo-hah of a event, and she wuz s'posed to be the main attraction.
Gerti Cummings: Like, in the middle of the whole corral? With all the fillies and broncos circlin' around admirin' her?
Sylvie: That wuz the i-dea.
Gerti Cummings: And she ain't havin' nothin' ta do with it. Nothin' at all. Whoa, Nellie. That cain't be good a-tall... Not a-tall.
Townspeople exit.
SCENE 2 - The Palace Ballroom

Gerti Cummings:
Meanwhile, back at the palace, Ahashverosh was makin' his dis-pleasure known to his queen. Now, b'tween you and me, it ain't a real good idea to dis-please a king... especially one as powerful as this one. But Vashti was bein' harder ta move than a pig stuck in the mud on a rainy day.
SCENE 3 - Outside the Palace
Gerti Cummings enters.
Gerti Cummings: It didn't take King Ahashverosh long ta start feelin' a mite lonely on those cold nights on the prairie- so he decided it was time to find himself a brand-spankin' new queen. He invited all the eligible young fillies in town to a big square dance down at the palace.
Ali Hakim, Esther Laurie and Uncle Ellerchai enter
Ali Hakim: Well, howdy ma'am. I don't reckon I've noticed ya 'round these parts before, but yer purtier than a new gingham dress on the cover of the Sears catalogue. Are you fixin' ta go ta the king's square dance today? He's got a powerful hankerin' fer a new queen - and ah think you might be just the type of girl he's lookin' fer. What's yer name?
Esther Laurie: I'm Esther Laurie. And who're yew?
Uncle Ellerchai: Esther Laurie, this here's the Hakim.
Esther Laurie: Shalom Alei-Kim (giggles). Well, Ali, do ya really think I'm purty? That's a durn sweet thing fer you to say to me.
Ali Hakim: Oh, I don't think there's any question. Y'all come ta the party, y'hear! And I ain't jokin' around, neither.
Ali Hakim exits.
Esther Laurie: Oh, Uncle Ellerchai... That was a right nice invitation... and from the King's very own top banana. Do ya think I should go?
Uncle Ellerchai: Well, Laurie, I always did say you were the purtiest chick in the whole henhouse! Why not go? Ya never know what might happen.
Esther Laurie: All right, I will. Who knows? Ah might git to be queen! Wouldn't that be a kick in the pants?
Uncle Ellerchai: One thing though, Esther Laurie. Ah reckon it might not be a good idea fer you to tell the King that yer Jewish - at least not right now. People 'er funny sometimes, and ah wouldn't want anything to stack the deck against ya.

Esther Laurie: (Gives him a hug.) Thanks, Uncle! Yer the best.
Uncle Ellerchai and Esther Laurie exit.
Gerti Cummings: And so Laurie put on her best Shabbas-go-ta-meetin' clothes and headed on down to the palace for the big square dance. Nah, pay attention - especially you young'uns. This here's a real im-portant part of the story. It's what we like ta call a "critical plot twist." So, listen up!